As you can clearly see from my blog and my Twitter posts, I'm a regular drinker. Usually I drink socially, in celebration of an event, or for other upbeat, positive reasons. When I get inebriated, I'm usually a happy, flirtatious, outgoing person.
Last night, I was drinking for the wrong reason, and I feel I owe an apology and an explanation. I was drinking because I was in a bad mood, and while I had no intention to become completely sloshed, it happened anyway. That's usually not a good combination.
Yesterday was rough. There are rumors going around of what is going to happen in the upcoming months. Some things are obvious: we're preparing to strike at the Lich King in Icecrown. Being Harvest Festival when we are honoring our fallen heroes, it's impossible to face the fact that we're going to war and many people will not be returning home.
But there are also rumors--prophecies of what will happen at Icecrown and beyond. Some of the oracles who have had these visions are more trustworthy than others, but what they report is disturbing beyond words.
Thrall will take his leave as leader of the Horde. Some say he will have a Wrynn-like experience where he is kidnapped and found suffering amnesia. But even after his identity is revealed, he won't be coming back as leader of the Horde.
Garrosh will be taking his place, and one of his moves will be against Cairne Bloodhoof...possibly even leading to Cairne's assassination.
The Trolls, Forsaken, and my own people will be removed from the center of Orgrimmar. While I know we can handle ourselves on the other continent in the Eastern Kingdoms, what does this mean of Vol'jin? Will he and his people get their lands back? Will they go willingly? Or, after having been Thrall's right-hand-man for so long, will VJ be exiled away? How will he take it?
And Sylvanas.... Fighting in Icecrown will happen. I know her. I know she'll want to be there. If she cannot make the killing blow herself, she will want to be present when the Lich King falls. This makes me worry, as she has an attitude of "He will die. And if I die, I will take him with me." She is that determined. Some prophets are predicting she won't return.
I know...so much of this is rumor, supposition, and possibly simply the hallucinations of madmen. There have been no predictions as to what will happen to me, but at this point I don't care. When people predict all your friends will be dead or missing, the world suddenly feels very scary and very very lonely.
If I wasn't feeling bitter enough, I accidentally said some things to the Boss Lady and triggered her own melancholy. She disappeared for the most part of the day, allegedly lamenting her death and the fall of Quel'Thalas. I know she takes it as a "failure" and that eats at her every day. But if I hadn't...no, Dar'Khan would have conned someone else, but even still...
Sylvie, I'm sorry. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. I'm so sorry.
So I did what any man could do with his bitterness and guilt and anger and despair: I bottled it up, went to Winterspring with Lady Dawnrise and her friend, and took out my frustrations in a killing spree of hostile beings. If I couldn't protect my home or people, and can't protect my friends in the future, at least for now, I could protect a few who are so dear to me.
The excursion helped. The emotional aspect of those memories were vented in physical activity. The memories pushed back down and re-bottled as I reveled in the here-and-now. But it was a fragile suppression, as I returned home to many frantic notes and messengers about the Dark Lady missing without a trace. She returned about the same time I did, and we reassured everyone she could take care of herself. She and I spoke a little. And she said to me, "I think all this talk of the future has had a sobering effect on all of us, even someone as cranky as @blightcaller."
Sobering effect. At that point, that was the last thing I wanted. So I sent a message to Thrall I would be in Orgrimmar soon. Brewfest was still going on, and I needed a drink or ten.
Mind you, I had no intention of getting as smashed as I did, but as soon as I arrived a large platoon of Dark Iron Dwarves showed up too. Instinct struck as I saw them kicking festival goers out of the way, and I had to protect them. But my weapons did little good against them. It hurt to watch this invasion and feel so helpless...again.
Then an orc at Drohn's Distillery, pushed a stein in my hand and said, "Liquid courage." I watched as he chugged his drink and threw the mug at an approaching dwarf, striking the dwarf squarely on the head and knocking it out. I followed suit, rapidly chugging and flinging as mugs of various brews were continuously put into my hands.
It was over in minutes, but it felt like hours. And by the time I reconnected with my friends, I was sloshed. At least I had a victory I could claim, but...no one else had been there. No one else could celebrate with me. No one else would, as they all had their reasons to remain sober for the night. I don't even know if Thrall showed up. He probably got side-tracked by another emergency.
I was trying to protect them...
So much for suppressing those feelings through some social interaction and drinking just enough to relax. Instead, all those emotions from before were magnified.
Even worse, the Prophet Velen showed up and saw me in this state. Great. Admittedly, in my inebriated state, I mistook some of his comments for veiled insults and lashed out in kind. I felt isolated at that point, and hyper-sensitive to disapproval of my behavior in public. It was not my best moment.
Luisette, may the Well bless her, escorted me home and took care of me in ways she has become very skilled. She complained this morning of lower back pain, and Sylvanas suggested it might have occurred to something she did to me overnight. Perhaps. Or perhaps it was from when I woke up in the middle of the night, practically crushing her against me, my tears slipping into her hair. I had been dreaming of losing my friends, and could not bear losing another. Not her.
Perhaps I should be relieved that she was still there in the morning. Perhaps I should be relieved my friends and fellow leaders were still around too. Hangover aside, I still feel bitter. Bitter and angry and apprehensive. I am worried for my friends, and worried what it could all mean for my people. I know that I have been ranked as #6 on the "Better Warchief than Garrosh Hellscream" list, with Hogger edging me down from the other present-day leaders (and Saurfang). I don't care. I wouldn't want the job.
Under normal circumstances, elves live long lives. I just want to know that I have many more years left where I will be able to drink and laugh and enjoy the company of my friends.
At this moment I'm grasping desperately for any reason to relax and laugh at all.
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Diplomatic matters
As one can probably guess, things have been busy in Silvermoon. This week we had a state visit from Archmage Aethas Sunreaver and Rhonin. Rhonin wanted to visit a city and land whose very essence was imbued with magic. I think he also wanted to visit his wife's homeland, but she did not join him. This was probably a good thing, as the atmosphere in Sunfury Spire was tense enough. I hear she's none too fond of the path our people have taken, and I'm sure that Halduron and I would have ended up "having words" with her. Sylvanas's sister has a harpy's tongue when she wishes to express her opinion. It's a good thing that only Rhonin came.
Of course, since Rhonin was here, Sunreaver had to accompany him. This, too, was probably a good thing. I trust any potential assassins stayed their blades and magic with the Archmagus by Rhonin's side at all times. Neutral or not, Rhonin is only a human, and there are many still bitter toward the entire race. Plus, Sunreaver is aware of the need to keep many aspects of the city, particularly the magical ones, secret. So he could give Rhonin some information without divulging anything important.
The downside is that three high-ranking mages in the same room makes for a volatile situation. At one point, Halduron defused it with a large bucket of cold water. I was caught in the splash, but it was certainly worth getting soaked to see those three sputter a bit. Halduron's lucky he's got that "good-looking boyish innocence and charm" thing going on. Somehow he can do things like that and get away with it.
My best friend is a lucky bastard.
Of course, since Rhonin was here, Sunreaver had to accompany him. This, too, was probably a good thing. I trust any potential assassins stayed their blades and magic with the Archmagus by Rhonin's side at all times. Neutral or not, Rhonin is only a human, and there are many still bitter toward the entire race. Plus, Sunreaver is aware of the need to keep many aspects of the city, particularly the magical ones, secret. So he could give Rhonin some information without divulging anything important.
The downside is that three high-ranking mages in the same room makes for a volatile situation. At one point, Halduron defused it with a large bucket of cold water. I was caught in the splash, but it was certainly worth getting soaked to see those three sputter a bit. Halduron's lucky he's got that "good-looking boyish innocence and charm" thing going on. Somehow he can do things like that and get away with it.
My best friend is a lucky bastard.
The Lady After Dark
For some reason, no one had the foresight to tell me that the Boss Lady had a blog of her own. I found it after Googling my own name to see what PR atrocities might need to be resolved these days.
(Trust me, when you're in a position of leadership, you must do this every so often to find out who is making claims like you're their father. Funny...THAT one believes that her mother is Sylvanas. Hey, Boss Lady, is that a night YOU remember?)
To address some of Sylvanas's criticisms, I must say this: I was comfortable leading the Rangers. We were the land's military presence, and those good people would gladly lay down their lives without question if it was in defense of their homeland. Compare that to leading the rest of the citizenship, who would sooner die than get dirty. It's an entirely new challenge, and while I'm handling it fairly well (as far as I can tell), it takes vastly different methods than what we did in the Farstriders.
So yes, I get fussy when it comes to matters of state. There are a lot of people who resent no longer having a monarchy, and they cling to the "old ways." Due to this stubbornness against change, I am under constant criticism when it comes to government protocol. When Lady Sylvanas visits, I'd like to greet her as a friend and former boss. I'd like her to have the freedom to walk around the city as she pleases. I'd like to treat her with the pleasant familiarity we once had, rather than the awkwardness that has grown between us.
What the remaining nobles wish to see is a grand display of state, including the escorts, formal banquets, and celebrations in her honor because she is the leader of the Forsaken. To not treat her as a Queen is an insult, making Silvermoon and our new government look (or so they assume) disrespectful to the rest of the Horde. Such an affront is what my critics look for so they can promote someone with a noble title (and without a lick of experience) into my position.
Imagine, if you will, some flouncy ponce with a title of nobility and no real experience leading Silvermoon. You know the ones who survived were the ones who hid while Sylvanas fought to the bitter end. Would anyone want one of those in the position of authority? Some people do, and they are the ones whose game I must play for the good of the city. It may be enough to tell the Forsaken that following orders will lead to Arthas's downfall, but with the general Sin'dorei population one must use a silver-tongued approach.
My dear Sylvanas, understand this is why I must act as I do when you arrive in Silvermoon unannounced. The bowing and scraping and fussiness is for their comfort as much as it is for yours. Not having to deal with such fussiness is why when I need a break I go camping or fishing or hunting or get laid. With the exception of the latter, Thrall is often willing to join. You might want to try it some time. Hence, offers to go hunting still stand.
Finally, I totally believe that Rommath sent that picture to everyone you know. But knowing him, he probably received it as a chain letter email that told him to forward it to all of his contacts or his ears would fall off again. He may be a master mage (or so we're told) but when it comes to anything outside his area of expertise (whatever that is) he's not too bright.
(Trust me, when you're in a position of leadership, you must do this every so often to find out who is making claims like you're their father. Funny...THAT one believes that her mother is Sylvanas. Hey, Boss Lady, is that a night YOU remember?)
To address some of Sylvanas's criticisms, I must say this: I was comfortable leading the Rangers. We were the land's military presence, and those good people would gladly lay down their lives without question if it was in defense of their homeland. Compare that to leading the rest of the citizenship, who would sooner die than get dirty. It's an entirely new challenge, and while I'm handling it fairly well (as far as I can tell), it takes vastly different methods than what we did in the Farstriders.
So yes, I get fussy when it comes to matters of state. There are a lot of people who resent no longer having a monarchy, and they cling to the "old ways." Due to this stubbornness against change, I am under constant criticism when it comes to government protocol. When Lady Sylvanas visits, I'd like to greet her as a friend and former boss. I'd like her to have the freedom to walk around the city as she pleases. I'd like to treat her with the pleasant familiarity we once had, rather than the awkwardness that has grown between us.
What the remaining nobles wish to see is a grand display of state, including the escorts, formal banquets, and celebrations in her honor because she is the leader of the Forsaken. To not treat her as a Queen is an insult, making Silvermoon and our new government look (or so they assume) disrespectful to the rest of the Horde. Such an affront is what my critics look for so they can promote someone with a noble title (and without a lick of experience) into my position.
Imagine, if you will, some flouncy ponce with a title of nobility and no real experience leading Silvermoon. You know the ones who survived were the ones who hid while Sylvanas fought to the bitter end. Would anyone want one of those in the position of authority? Some people do, and they are the ones whose game I must play for the good of the city. It may be enough to tell the Forsaken that following orders will lead to Arthas's downfall, but with the general Sin'dorei population one must use a silver-tongued approach.
My dear Sylvanas, understand this is why I must act as I do when you arrive in Silvermoon unannounced. The bowing and scraping and fussiness is for their comfort as much as it is for yours. Not having to deal with such fussiness is why when I need a break I go camping or fishing or hunting or get laid. With the exception of the latter, Thrall is often willing to join. You might want to try it some time. Hence, offers to go hunting still stand.
Finally, I totally believe that Rommath sent that picture to everyone you know. But knowing him, he probably received it as a chain letter email that told him to forward it to all of his contacts or his ears would fall off again. He may be a master mage (or so we're told) but when it comes to anything outside his area of expertise (whatever that is) he's not too bright.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
At the risk of starting another war...
I was having a discussion with Cadistra about the Cenarion Circle's large amount of paperwork, yet their stance on protecting the environment. This brought up a question that was too complicated for the 140 character limit on Twitter.
As a Ranger, being close to nature is not a foreign concept. As a politician, I have to wonder (and point out the hypocrisy) about the decisions people make in regard to their treatment of the resources we have.
The initial question: If Druids are so protective of the environment, then why do they have so much paperwork? Even if the paper is recycled, they must still cut down trees for the raw materials.
If they cut down trees for paper to maintain their own bureaucracy, then why are the Night Elves so up in arms about the Orcs needing building materials? There is conflict in Warsong Gulch because the Orcs have no viable building materials in Durotar and need wood from nearby Ashenvale. Notice, they are not clear-cutting the entire forest (there is no lumbering going on adjacent to Splintertree Post, Mor'shan Rampart, or Zoram'gar Outpost), nor are they setting up lumbermills in Azshara. I also must bring up the point that wood is a renewable resource, and I'm sure everyone can work together to plant trees in place of the ones that need to be taken for building material.
Yes, Grom Hellscream and his Orcs cleared parts of the forest, but going to war only makes people more belligerent and stubborn to continue their ways. Again, wood is a renewable resource. Thrall is the type who understands nature, and would like to strike a balance between taking and giving. I believe Thrall would be willing to work with both Shamans and Druids to repair the damage done when taking what they need from the forest, but the attitude of the Silverwing Sentinels is not doing much to convince the Warsong Orcs to stop anything.
Perhaps it's a misunderstanding of orcish culture, behavior, and personality. The best way to get an Orc to stop doing something is NOT to tell him, "If you don't stop, I'm going to attack you!" An Orc is just going to smile and increase the rate of whatever he's doing to provoke a fight. The greatest honor to an Orc is dying on the battlefield, not dying in bed of old age, surrounded by friends and family. Give the lowliest peon who is stuck in a menial job a chance to die in battle, and he'll do what he can to make sure that battle happens.
This is NOT a difficult concept.
Finally, if they are so environmentally friendly and have issues with necessary logging of a renewable resource, how is it that Night Elves are on friendly terms with Dwarves and Gnomes? How can they go to war over the trees in Ashenvale, but look the other way when Dwarves strip-mine for non-renewable resources and artifacts? The Dwarves mining in the Barrens and Mulgore are not Dark Iron Dwarves, but Bronzebeard's people. In addition, the Stormpike Expedition traveled into Alterac Valley where Thrall's own clan, the Frostwolves, wanted to live in peace with the land. How can Night Elf Druids justify fighting alongside those who have invaded a land to take non-renewable resources from those who have lived in accord with the elements?
As for the Gnomes...while the invasion of their city by troggs and their subsequent need to destroy it was unfortunate, they detonated a radiation bomb. Need I say more?
This is not a question as to who should have "possession" of a particular bit of land, but what they intend to do with it.
I can't help but question this as being hypocritical. There is bad blood between Night Elves (and often, Druids in general) and Blood Elves due to our use of the Arcane. But think about this: after Silvermoon was razed we rebuilt our city with magic rather than destroying the land around us. Eversong Woods is our home and source of protection. The Farstriders would do anything to defend it, even use the Arcane (something we hesitate using) to keep our home safe.
I don't really want to start ANOTHER war when the problem with the Lich King still needs to be resolved in Northrend, but...
To my fellow Horde: If you ever see a Night Elf Druid riding a Mekgineer's Chopper in Alterac Valley...target them first.
As a Ranger, being close to nature is not a foreign concept. As a politician, I have to wonder (and point out the hypocrisy) about the decisions people make in regard to their treatment of the resources we have.
The initial question: If Druids are so protective of the environment, then why do they have so much paperwork? Even if the paper is recycled, they must still cut down trees for the raw materials.
If they cut down trees for paper to maintain their own bureaucracy, then why are the Night Elves so up in arms about the Orcs needing building materials? There is conflict in Warsong Gulch because the Orcs have no viable building materials in Durotar and need wood from nearby Ashenvale. Notice, they are not clear-cutting the entire forest (there is no lumbering going on adjacent to Splintertree Post, Mor'shan Rampart, or Zoram'gar Outpost), nor are they setting up lumbermills in Azshara. I also must bring up the point that wood is a renewable resource, and I'm sure everyone can work together to plant trees in place of the ones that need to be taken for building material.
Yes, Grom Hellscream and his Orcs cleared parts of the forest, but going to war only makes people more belligerent and stubborn to continue their ways. Again, wood is a renewable resource. Thrall is the type who understands nature, and would like to strike a balance between taking and giving. I believe Thrall would be willing to work with both Shamans and Druids to repair the damage done when taking what they need from the forest, but the attitude of the Silverwing Sentinels is not doing much to convince the Warsong Orcs to stop anything.
Perhaps it's a misunderstanding of orcish culture, behavior, and personality. The best way to get an Orc to stop doing something is NOT to tell him, "If you don't stop, I'm going to attack you!" An Orc is just going to smile and increase the rate of whatever he's doing to provoke a fight. The greatest honor to an Orc is dying on the battlefield, not dying in bed of old age, surrounded by friends and family. Give the lowliest peon who is stuck in a menial job a chance to die in battle, and he'll do what he can to make sure that battle happens.
This is NOT a difficult concept.
Finally, if they are so environmentally friendly and have issues with necessary logging of a renewable resource, how is it that Night Elves are on friendly terms with Dwarves and Gnomes? How can they go to war over the trees in Ashenvale, but look the other way when Dwarves strip-mine for non-renewable resources and artifacts? The Dwarves mining in the Barrens and Mulgore are not Dark Iron Dwarves, but Bronzebeard's people. In addition, the Stormpike Expedition traveled into Alterac Valley where Thrall's own clan, the Frostwolves, wanted to live in peace with the land. How can Night Elf Druids justify fighting alongside those who have invaded a land to take non-renewable resources from those who have lived in accord with the elements?
As for the Gnomes...while the invasion of their city by troggs and their subsequent need to destroy it was unfortunate, they detonated a radiation bomb. Need I say more?
This is not a question as to who should have "possession" of a particular bit of land, but what they intend to do with it.
I can't help but question this as being hypocritical. There is bad blood between Night Elves (and often, Druids in general) and Blood Elves due to our use of the Arcane. But think about this: after Silvermoon was razed we rebuilt our city with magic rather than destroying the land around us. Eversong Woods is our home and source of protection. The Farstriders would do anything to defend it, even use the Arcane (something we hesitate using) to keep our home safe.
I don't really want to start ANOTHER war when the problem with the Lich King still needs to be resolved in Northrend, but...
To my fellow Horde: If you ever see a Night Elf Druid riding a Mekgineer's Chopper in Alterac Valley...target them first.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A Day in the Life...
There's no such thing as a "typical day" when you're leader of the Sin'dorei. But if there was, it would probably go something like this:
6 am-6:30 am: Wake up. Mana tap whoever woke me up. Sleep for 15 more minutes. Finally get up and get ready.
6:30 am-7:30 am: Morning workout. I might be a government pencil-pusher, but I need to stay in shape for when the Alliance come calling.
7:30 am-8 am: Shower, get dressed, get to the "office." Dispatch couriers if there's anything to report to the other leaders.
8 am-8:30 am: Breakfast while getting the latest news from the couriers arriving from the Undercity, Orgrimmar, and Thunder Bluff (usually in that order).
8:30 am-9 am: Respond and dispatch further couriers.
9 am-11 am: Attend to business.
Note: Around 11 am, Halduron usually cracks from his normal calm state and discussions with Rommath begin to accelerate to argument level. We have about a 30-minute enrage timer before he starts throwing fists.
11:30 am-noon: Short break, visit to the priests to attend to bloody noses, time to stretch and calm down.
Noon-1 pm: Lunch, and receiving more couriers from the other Horde cities.
1 pm-3 pm: Receiving citizens and adventurers, checking in on Twitteroth.
3 pm-5 pm: Back to business with Rommath and Halduron.
5 pm-6 pm: Stopping another fight between those two. Receiving and dispatching more couriers to the other cities.
6 pm-8 pm: Paperwork. Dinner is usually taken at my desk. Check in on Twitteroth as I can.
8 pm-9 pm: Clean up from any Alliance raids that might have come through during the day. At this point, they're usually raiding Naxxramas or Ulduar.
9 pm-midnight: This is my "me time." However, it usually involves people running in around 10:30 with documents they need me to review and sign (approval or rejection) before midnight. From time to time I grab Thrall and/or Cairne to escape our duties for a bit. Doesn't always happen. And sometimes I end up crashing out at 8:59, only to wake up at 6:31 the next morning.
The most common topic of debate lately has been the recent influx of Blood Elf Death Knights and where to house them. When the Scourge invaded and Silvermoon was razed, we lost the majority of our people. Rommath did help rebuild the city to house our significantly smaller numbers, with some room for growth. Little did we expect that so many of our people would be raised as Death Knights, and then break free of the Lich King. We probably should have expected it...after all, he was there to turn our people into a meat market for his own purposes. Clearly he didn't understand the will of the Sin'dorei.
Well, now we suddenly have these Death Knights returning home, and we have no place to house them. This is a major contributing factor to Halduron's temper toward Rommath of late...and admittedly, my own.
This all said, again, there's no such thing as a "regular day."
I need a vacation.
6 am-6:30 am: Wake up. Mana tap whoever woke me up. Sleep for 15 more minutes. Finally get up and get ready.
6:30 am-7:30 am: Morning workout. I might be a government pencil-pusher, but I need to stay in shape for when the Alliance come calling.
7:30 am-8 am: Shower, get dressed, get to the "office." Dispatch couriers if there's anything to report to the other leaders.
8 am-8:30 am: Breakfast while getting the latest news from the couriers arriving from the Undercity, Orgrimmar, and Thunder Bluff (usually in that order).
8:30 am-9 am: Respond and dispatch further couriers.
9 am-11 am: Attend to business.
Note: Around 11 am, Halduron usually cracks from his normal calm state and discussions with Rommath begin to accelerate to argument level. We have about a 30-minute enrage timer before he starts throwing fists.
11:30 am-noon: Short break, visit to the priests to attend to bloody noses, time to stretch and calm down.
Noon-1 pm: Lunch, and receiving more couriers from the other Horde cities.
1 pm-3 pm: Receiving citizens and adventurers, checking in on Twitteroth.
3 pm-5 pm: Back to business with Rommath and Halduron.
5 pm-6 pm: Stopping another fight between those two. Receiving and dispatching more couriers to the other cities.
6 pm-8 pm: Paperwork. Dinner is usually taken at my desk. Check in on Twitteroth as I can.
8 pm-9 pm: Clean up from any Alliance raids that might have come through during the day. At this point, they're usually raiding Naxxramas or Ulduar.
9 pm-midnight: This is my "me time." However, it usually involves people running in around 10:30 with documents they need me to review and sign (approval or rejection) before midnight. From time to time I grab Thrall and/or Cairne to escape our duties for a bit. Doesn't always happen. And sometimes I end up crashing out at 8:59, only to wake up at 6:31 the next morning.
The most common topic of debate lately has been the recent influx of Blood Elf Death Knights and where to house them. When the Scourge invaded and Silvermoon was razed, we lost the majority of our people. Rommath did help rebuild the city to house our significantly smaller numbers, with some room for growth. Little did we expect that so many of our people would be raised as Death Knights, and then break free of the Lich King. We probably should have expected it...after all, he was there to turn our people into a meat market for his own purposes. Clearly he didn't understand the will of the Sin'dorei.
Well, now we suddenly have these Death Knights returning home, and we have no place to house them. This is a major contributing factor to Halduron's temper toward Rommath of late...and admittedly, my own.
This all said, again, there's no such thing as a "regular day."
I need a vacation.
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